Sneaking Things to School

On Wednesday, I received this text from Mrs. Clark:

"After morning program, Brianna had a hard time settling down to work.  After several warnings, I sent her out to the hall.  She spent about 5 minutes in the hall and came back in with a much better attitude.  She lost 5 minutes of recess and the rest of the day she did awesome.  I still felt like I should let you know.  I did not send her home with a note"
  
Brianna knew that a note did not come home, so I asked her after school, "So, how was your day?  Did you get in trouble at all."  Her happy response, "No".  I then go on to explain to her the text I received and that she needs to sit in her room until dinner and that she cannot go to Awanas because our rule is that if you get in trouble at school, you get in trouble at home.  And if it is on an Awanans night, then you miss Awanas.  She has missed Awanas the past 3-4 weeks because she always seems to get in trouble on Wednesdays.

So on Friday, I found out from Cooper that Brianna had her church boots at school.  She knows I do not want her to wear her nice church boots to school because the playground gets them nasty and then they do not look nice for church.  So, she snuck them in her backpack while wearing a different pair to school.  She of course had to sit in her room until dinner for that.  I spoke with her about it and told her she needed to bring them home on Monday.

Monday rolls around and Jeff sees her barefoot in the gym at recess.  Then he sees her putting on her boots barefoot after recess.  She doesn't bring them home from school on Monday either.  As I am unpacking her backpack, I notice that she has snuck a pair of flip flops into her backpack as well, which kids are not even allowed to wear flip flops to school and not to mention it was raining and cold.  I question her with "Brianna, why is there a pair of flip flops in your backpack."   Here is her response,  "I accidentally grabbed them when I was grabbing my tennis shoes".  So I say, "Accidentally?  So you wore flip flops to school instead of tennis shoes?"  She says, "No".  Then I say, "Well, did you accidentally put your flip flops in your backpack too?"  At this point she knew she was caught lying, which she does multiple times each day.  I asked her, "Did you even wear the flip flops at school"   She says, "No".  So basically the only reason she put them in her backpack was to disobey me and to make me angry for sneaking them to school when she knows she is not supposed to.  I simply cannot understand this.  I have never seen a child WANT to get in trouble so badly.  It is as if she thrives off of being in trouble all the time.

I am so exhausted by her and her lying.  I made her have eggs for dinner, which I haven't done in a long time because most times it's not worth the battle, but I am just SO upset with her and there aren't any consequences that seem to make any difference whatsoever in her behavior. 

I am calling the counselor today........

Need to Start a Journal

This has been the hardest 4 years of parenting I have EVER had to do.  I keep thinking it's going to get better, but it doesn't.  I am exhausted with trying different methods of parenting.  Love.  Grace.  Consequences.  Separation.


I wish I would have been journaling these past 4 years, but hopefully I can do better.  I have to put this in writing to try to keep a log of her behaviors so maybe one day we can make sense of it.

She has been in TROUBLE a lot, a lot, a lot lately.  I have tried being super loving these past couple weeks.  Laying in bed with her talking to her, cuddling with her.  The nicer I get, the worse her behavior becomes.  It makes NO sense to me.

Last week, she got in trouble at school and was supposed to bring a behavior report home.  She threw it away.  Her teacher, Becky Clark, contacted me via email.   Correspondence and report below.

Marci Holley <marcikholley@gmail.com>	Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 9:22 AM
To: Becky Clark <bclark@wcsbartlesville.org>
I am so sorry!  Thank you for alerting me. I really like this Behavior Report system because last year Brianna would intentionally not bring her planner home or take out or scribble out the notes so I would not see them.   I have been meaning to get with you to see if she has been doing any better with the crying when she has to redo things.  I have been asking her about it and she has told me that she hasn't been doing it anymore, but I wanted to double check with you. Thanks! Marci [Quoted text hidden]

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Marci Holley <marcikholley@gmail.com>	Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 9:27 AM
To: Becky Clark <bclark@wcsbartlesville.org>
Oh, just realized you said this was sent YESTERDAY.  No, I did not receive it.  It is hard telling what she did with it.  She did this last year too.  You will probably have to email me the notes.  :( On Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 9:06 AM, Becky Clark <bclark@wcsbartlesville.org> wrote: [Quoted text hidden]

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Becky Clark <BClark@wcsbartlesville.org>	Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 10:39 AM
To: Marci Holley <marcikholley@gmail.com>
Marci, Brianna told me she gave you the note yesterday and she was sent to her room until the babysitter came. That was quite a detailed lie (very creative).  In the future I will send an email as well as the note in the planner. I just like the idea of them bringing it to you and getting it signed. I think it reinforces them owning their mistake.  To answer your question about Brianna crying- she has not had one problem with tears in quite a while. That shows a lot of improvement for her in that area!!   Thank you for your email.  I will print the note and send it home again in the planner.  I will let her know you will be looking for it.  Blessings, Becky Clark Sent from my iPhone [Quoted text hidden]

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Marci Holley <marcikholley@gmail.com>	Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 10:53 AM
To: Becky Clark <BClark@wcsbartlesville.org>
Wow!  Nope, she did get sent to her room after school for a bit because her and Cooper were fighting and I was on the phone and I sent them both to their rooms, but it had nothing to do with the note that I never received.  I like the idea of them bringing the note home too, other than the fact that Brianna has a problem with giving them to me.   I am glad she has improved in the crying area. :) It is so frustrating and embarrassing when your child is acting this way in school.  Bold face lying to her teacher.  She was given a chance to bring it home again and she threw it in the trash AGAIN the next day!!!!